Ive had a hemorrhoid about a month after my son was born.. soo its been almsot 18 months, and it wont go away!! its an external one… ive taken warm baths, eating better, and the thing one go away. i wont have a normal sex life cause im afraid someone will see it and get grossed out!

my BF and i have been in a rough patch in our relationship…

last night i tried to make things better… by improving our sex life…

i got into some lingerie and fish net stockings… and told him he could be rough with me last night… and he basically just spread me out and had his way with me… my legs were wide open doing the splits for an hour straight… i let him do so many things that i would have never allowed… first off i gave him a rim job… which i never would have done if….. he also tried to shove his whole hand in my vagina… it hurt so bad i was screaming at the top of my lungs… we finished the night with very rough anal sex (again i was screaming all the way through, but he just kept on pile driving me…) and he came in my anus!!! i didnt even realize that we would go this far…

and this morning he texted me and said we were breaking up… i feel so bad and angry.. what can i do?
i mean im pretty sure he enjoyed it… he was kissing/licking/sucking me all over very passionately…

and im not ugly im 5’5" 100lb… blonde hair blue eyes… nature… 34B-22-32
natural… not nature

Though i am fully satisfied with my sex life but my partner never cooperate whenever i express desire for anal sex. i have tried a few times but she complains of having pain and ultimately i have to walk out. she also has a minor problem of piles and says that because of this she can not enjoy what ia want. what do i do to make her feel comfortable and for having enjoyable anal sex.